Accept the "Lapse", avoid the "Relapse". ~ Today I ate a pie for breakfast.Read Now
I have something I need to get off my chest....
Today I ordered a pie from my favourite bakery. I sat on the beach with my bestie in the beautiful sunshine and I ate the whole thing. There. I feel so much better for saying that. We laughed and talked and swapped weekend stories and it was exactly the type of morning that I needed.
This morning I didn’t make veggie juice and I didn’t let myself freak out about it. So yes, there you have it. After my morning water and lemon water, I ate a pie for brekkie.
Still want to follow my Nutrition page? I hope so :)
You see, I am trialling this new thing.
It is called meeting myself where I am.
Today I was upset. I was tired, and I was craving a swim in the ocean, some sunshine and a chat with my soul sista. That is what I needed today and so that is what I gave myself.
I used to have this horrible habit of beating myself up every time I ate something that didn’t qualify as a perfect nutritious whole food. I would get super cranky with myself and spend the rest of the day making myself feel guilty.
I would convince myself that I was a terrible nutritionist, a sham and that if people really knew that I didn’t spend every minute of every day drinking veggie juice they would not take me seriously. I would always joke about this to friends and family, but soon realised that in my own head I really did believe this to be true.
Before I started working with clients, I was hard on people and even harder on myself; you could even say that I was judgemental. I would look at people making poor food choices with disgust. I walked around thinking people were ignorant when it came to health and I could never understand how people could let themselves go, or live on a diet of foods that made them unwell.
I failed to recognise that perfection is not only ridiculous, but unattainable. That there is no one on the planet that can be perfect all the time-have a perfect eating regime, always react in a loving way to themselves and others or manage and handle everything perfectly within their lives.
Sometimes we slip; we eat that cupcake after lunch at work, we yell at those we love because we fail to communicate properly, some days we don’t feel thankful for everything we have- we do simply focus on the negative and sometimes we wake up so late that we have no option but to skip breakfast. This happens and this is life. My old way of thinking made days like this that much more challenging.
When we make a less than desirable choice; food or otherwise, it’s more important than ever to tread gently and lovingly with ourselves. Accept and be aware of the ‘lapse’ – “That cupcake probably wasn’t the greatest way to deal with my work stress, but I am aware of this choice and I will get back on the path I wish to be on now”. End of. No guilt. No negativity and no mean thoughts surrounding this.
Awareness surrounding the food choice, why it was made, accepting It was made, letting it go and starting over is the best way, I believe, to handle these situations.
When we place ourselves on a “diet” or we get stuck in a stringent, pattern of eating out of fear of not being perfect, or eating something that isn’t purely green, we place pressure on ourselves. A lot of it. Soon the pressure mounts and we blow our tops. We fall off the wagon completely, and go down a path of re-occurring poor food choices. We soon say ‘well screw it!’, I ate that cupcake, I am going to follow it with some mcdiddy for dinner, and a chocolate sundae for dessert.
One poor food choice doesn’t mean we fail. It doesn’t mean that we suck or that we are going to gain 10 kilos or become addicted to unhealthy food. It means that maybe we were at a party and wanted some birthday cake, or it was a perfect summers day at the beach and we wanted a chicken and asparagus pie or even that it was the end of the night and nothing looked better than chilling with a good friend and sharing a box of chips. The poor food choice is simply the poor food choice. How we view the situation makes all the difference.
The poor food choice is ‘The Lapse’.
A lapse is defined as a brief or temporary failure of judgement, and this is all that it is. It remains a lapse when we stay committed to loving ourselves and nourishing our body. When we can look at the poor food choice, acknowledge this and move forward gracefully, onwards and upwards.
The “Re-Lapse” is when we loose touch. It is when we eat the cupcake, follow it with the mcdiddy, and finish up with the sundae. It is loosing connection with ourselves and mindlessly eating, not checking in with why, or what led to the choice.
We then have created the perfect environment for the Re-lapse into the old. We see not so loving food choices and patterns surface and under these circumstances a lapse can turn into a bad eating week, month and before we know it, a not so healthy lifestyle altogether.
This is why diets fail, and yo-yo eating is so common. We have to accept the little lapses, check back in with ourselves, and follow the lapse up with a more loving approach.
So what did my day look like after my breakfast pie?
I picked some kale from my garden, made a green smoothie and had a beautiful afternoon tea of cut up veggies, green tea and lots of water. I reminded myself that my body works beautifully, and I spend most of my days making very loving healthy choices. My system will digest the pie in no time and soon it will be a distant memory for my body. No more guilt, stress or negative thoughts surrounding my lapse, balance is key.
I now meet myself where I am and I meet my clients where they are. I want people to come to me and be honest; to feel like they can say- “yesterday wasn’t my finest day, I ate half a block of chocolate and went out for Chinese food”, because if you can get real with yourself, be honest with where you are at and accept the choices and the responsibility for them, then you take back the power, regain the control and put your best foot forward after your little lapse.
So check in with yourself during this fresh new week.
Think about the areas where the “Lapses” have turned into “Re-lapses”.
How you could have caught yourself? regained back control and returned lovingly to your regime.
Next coaching program starts March 26th!
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Drew is a personal trainer and nutritionist and is the co-founder of Evexia Wellbeing. Drew specialises in long-term habit change, body composition training, and mindset.